February 11, 2014

Hockey Players Might Eat Their Young If They Thought It Would Help The Team

Yeah, hockey players are a tough bunch. To make it to the NHL, especially the goon squad, one must be equal parts foolhardy, demented, and zany. To make it to the NHL, one must be willing to do things any sane person would consider ill-advised. Hell, most people try to avoid fast movements and hard contact while standing on ice, these guys made a sport out of it. But it wasn’t tenacious enough to body slam your opponent into glass walls or to knock them onto the seat of the their pants. No, hockey players couldn’t stop there, they had to also introduce a frozen disc of vulcanized rubber into the equation, and this disc of death would be catapulted at speeds topping 100 MPH.

Yeah, like I said, hockey players are a tough bunch. Hockey players might eat their young it they thought it would help the team. And only hockey players beat the living shit out of each other with their bare fists as a means to enforce “civility” in their opponent. Hockey players will eat a puck during the first period, get it stitched up during intermission, go back on the ice and score a goal, get into another fight, and be home in time for corn flakes.

The only major sport that comes close is football, but let’s face it, 16 games? Really? Or how about baseball? Snooze. Basketball? Okay, you can work up a sweat there, but that’s about it. How about soccer? Well, I think this says it all…


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